Are you doing it wrong, or is your grief actually a normal response to loss? Find out in this episode of Depresh Mode, the new podcast from John Moe (formerly of the hilarious world of depression).
Here’s John’s introduction to our show:
“When a loved one dies, the world can become chaos. Everything has changed. The way you drive a car, the way food tastes, the way you even talk to people can feel different and wrong and weird. It feels like you are – for lack of a better term – going crazy. How far apart are grief and mental illness? The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), the standard reference for mental illness, says that if you’re still messed up from grief six months after the death of your person, you have something called Prolonged Grief Disorder.
For Megan Devine, an author and psychotherapist who specializes in grief, the sudden loss of her partner Matt meant being at the grocery store and temporarily forgetting how money worked. But she says that’s not a problem. That’s a truthful response to a horrifying event. That’s just being horrified.
Megan rejects the idea that being upset for as long as you need to be is a problem. She advocates recognizing the personal truth and reality of what’s going on inside yourself”:
“Somebody who is “still” crying. Still in air quotes. Sarcastic air quotes at that. But somebody who is still crying six weeks, six months, a year, five years, I don’t care, after their person died, they’re not stuck in their grief. They have feelings and that’s different. So that shelf life that we have on sadness, on grief itself is way too short, and it makes us look at normal, healthy, messy grief as a problem long before it’s a problem. So that’s one thing we need to look at is understanding that your grief is going to last as long your love for that person lasts. It’s going to shift and change, like any natural process because it is a natural process.”
Bonus: If you’ve ever wondered how people who talk about grief and depression all day don’t get lost in grief and depression, be sure to listen through to the end of the episode.
Click here to listen to the episode.
Wishing for some company inside your grief? Now, as always, the very best place I know to connect YOU with other grieving folks is inside the Writing Your Grief community. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, there is always someone there: when you feel invisible inside your grief, these folks see you. Follow this link to join us. We’ve got room for you.