This article is stellar. When I talk about the unhelpful help and advice people give grieving folks, I get hate mail. Most of the negative reviews of my book center on my seeming inability to understand that people have good intentions. It’s as though TRYING to be helpful and kind is the only thing that…
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Grief Impacts Reading Comprehension
Grief impacts reading comprehension. It’s super common, yet it’s one of those weird effects we don’t usually talk about. I hear the same thing from just about everyone in grief’s early days (remember, define early for yourself): grief obliterates their ability to read, comprehend, and sustain attention. No matter how much of a book person…
U.S. Sees Deadly Drug Overdose Spike During Pandemic
Back in March, someone asked me why I was stressed about the pandemic if “not many people had died yet.” Those of us who work in grief & trauma saw what was ahead – the ripple effects of loss, isolation, and uncertainty reach far into the future. Here, via NPR, is part of the long…
Loneliness is real. How should we respond when someone says they’re lonely?
Think about the things we say to somebody when they say they’re feeling lonely. “Other people have it worse.” “Use this time to better yourself.” “I’d give anything for the kind of alone time you have.” Recently, over on Twitter I discussed why responses like these aren’t helpful and how we should respond instead: Humans…
As the pandemic continues, lets talk about anxiety and grief
With the Covid-19 virus situation still unfolding, it’s easy to let anxiety slide into panic as you think about the days to come. Schools reopening or staying online, travel plans on hold indefinitely, people getting lax on best practices (Don’t do that, people. Wear a mask.) – all this stuff can keep your nervous system…
Good intentions aren’t good enough.
Good intentions aren’t good enough. That’s true in grief, and it’s true in our ongoing conversations about racism, ableism, misogyny and other systemic other-isms. Even with the best intentions, most of what we say to a grieving person is unhelpful (at best). From “everything happens for a reason” to “other people have it worse!” our…
Learning How to Listen – Pain deserves acknowledgement, not repair
Learning how to listen to others’ pain without jumping in to fix it, explain it to them (!), or tell them it’s not as bad as they think it is is both an individual task and a social one. A few things I’d love to hear from you: What are some things you heard from…
grief today & every day (plus Alica Forneret)
Morning friends. It is a veritable shitshow in the world. Over on my IG, we’ve got grief educators from BIPOC communities speaking on grief for the next few days, so be sure to tune in over there. As we know, systemic racism and violence against BIPOC is not new. Grief visits communities of color at…