What happens when your personal grief is a front-page news story? I didn’t even notice the news crews up on the bridge over the river. I was too busy talking to the wardens who were looking for Matt. I was too busy sitting, stunned, in the driver’s seat of my car while the sun beat…
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ask, don’t tell: how to help someone in grief
I have twin objectives – to companion those in grief, and to help educate those who care about someone in grief. That education can get tricky: very often when grievers share their disappointment, and their frustration, at how other people try to help, there’s a backlash from the community: hey! We’re only trying to help! We know.…
free clip of the audio book: everything is not okay
Have you seen the audio book on this site? You can read all about it, and order your download, on the book page. I don’t know about you, but I am super wary of grief books. Most of them are not awesome. I want those things vetted before I buy them. So in addition to reading what other people…
10 simple acts: how to survive early grief
I can close my eyes and go back there: the indescribable, unfathomable rift in the universe, the bizarre and surreal world after Matt disappeared into the river. A wholly irrelevant event catapulted into my life, changing everything. The first weeks and months after an out-of-order death are a world unto themselves. At that initial time of impact, few…
alone together: how grieving introverts connect.
. I spent hours online when Matt first died. Anyone who has been plunged into grief knows this: the computer becomes your companion, the vehicle of your search. Click after click, searching for something to help, to find someone who sounds like you. Hour after hour, I found no one. Platitudes, emoticons. Casual acquaintances suddenly…
get your shit together! Wills and estate planning.
Just a quick hello this morning my friends and loves. Many of us have already had our lives go sideways. Maybe you’ve tried to tell your friends and family how important it is that they have wills and other important, useful documents completed NOW, before they need them. And in response, you get the…
you aren't here now: how grief and mindfulness don't mix.
If you’re interested in self-development, you’ve probably heard the term “mindfulness.” Over the last decade, mindfulness meditation, sometimes called mindfulness-based therapy, has been researched as an aid to anxiety, stress, depression, chronic pain, and other human conditions. Once largely confined to the realm of therapists’ offices or yoga studios, mindfulness has begun to show up…
wills and things: how to prepare for the unexpected.
I have a diagnostic thing coming up next week. I have no concerns at all for the actual procedure, or for test results. What completely unglues me, or has, is that matt is not here, which means I have to go out and find someone else to drive me to the appointment, someone to be…