I write and speak about grief pretty much all day, every day. My written words and audio programs are meant to give some measure of comfort to those in pain. Writing about my own grief, writing into grief, lets me tell you that you are not alone. But here’s where language gets tricky, especially in…
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How do you help someone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness?
How do you help someone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness? The temptation is to cheerlead. That entire cancer lexicon can be so damaging: “Be strong.” “Fight hard.” “No negative thoughts.” “Hold a positive outcome in your head.” All of that is valid and I’m not saying don’t do it. What I am…
Language and grief: the backhanded judgement of ableist erasure
Just as grieving people are often told, “At least they aren’t in pain anymore” or “They’re in a better place,” those grieving the death of a person with disabilities or physical differences are often told things like “At least their body is ‘perfect’ now.” If you’ve been around here a while, maybe you automatically hear…
Trans people will not be erased. (and here’s why you should care)
Not sure why you should care about issues facing Transgender people? Whether you’re annoyed or just curious, this post is for you. Today is International Transgender Day of Visibility, so I’m republishing a post from a couple of years ago. The issues haven’t changed. On a post about discrimination around trans rights on instagram, someone…
Grieving people are “looking forward” to different things once the pandemic eases
As it begins to seem like maybe, possibly the world is going to start to reopen and life will begin to move forward again this summer, lots of people are talking about what they’re looking forward to. This is a complicated topic for grieving folks, many of whom are meeting this big news with all…
Facing the Grief Caused By Racism and Misogyny
Can you help dismantle hate? Even when you’re grieving? 8 new grieving families, and a wider grieving community. One incident of hate among many. Racism and misogyny create grief. Racism and misogyny are vast issues with lots of moving parts. As a white person with a whole lot of privilege, I can’t begin to speak…
Recommended Reading: I Had a Miscarriage by Dr. Jessica Zucker
My friend Dr. Jessica Zucker’s book, I Had a Miscarriage, is out now! If you’ve lived through miscarriage, stillbirth, or pregnancy losses – get this book. If you have friends who have lived through these things (and I guarantee you, you have friends who have lived these things) – get this book. Miscarriage…
Why We Have To Grieve Our Last Good Days and How to Hope for the Future
“You have your own memory from Before you can’t help returning to. The last concert you went to, the last hug you had with a distant loved one, the last trip you took to work maskless and unafraid. The last time you didn’t know would be the last time. Millions of people are mourning the…