Megan Devine is a psychotherapist, writer, grief advocate, and the founder of Refuge In Grief. She is dedicated to helping people live through the things they never thought they’d face. Journalists: skip using “still” when you refer to someone’s grief. This week marks the first anniversary of Kobe Bryant’s death. Vanessa Bryant will carry grief…
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CNN reporter breaks down in tears during report on coronavirus in California
So much spiraling loss. This is why we have such a “cheer people up / it’s not that bad / buck up and move on” approach to grief: it’s really, really hard to keep your eyes open to actual pain. It’s easier to put up a wall, distance yourself, look away, blame the griever for…
What does systemic racism have to do with grieving a loved one?
What does systemic racism have to do with grieving a loved one? Systemic racism is a massive topic and I’m glad you’re curious about it. Just to scratch the surface: medical errors affect people of color at statistically higher rates than white folks. The maternal death rate for Black women is orders of magnitude higher…
When Time Passes Too Fast (& they didn’t die ‘last year’ anymore)
The new year has only just begun, but it already feels like time is moving too fast. Unless I’m focused on the pandemic, then it’s all moving too slowly. That’s one of the odd things about time – the tick-tick-tick of seconds is the same for everyone, but the perceived pacing of those seconds? That’s…
How are you holding up this holiday season?
Holiday season check-in! How are you holding up? By “holding up,” I don’t mean appearing okay to those around you. I don’t mean soldiering through as though everything were normal (not that anything is normal right now). I never do enjoy pretending. By “holding up,” I guess I mean – how’s your heart? How do…
Brain Pickings: The Radical Act of Letting Things Hurt
Hi new friends! Did you get here from Brain Pickings? Welcome! There’s a lot to see here, whether you’re grieving or trying to support someone who is. If you’re looking for grief support, check this page. If you need an overview of how to help your grieving friend, check here. And if you’re wondering if…
Are the holidays over yet?
This season is almost over. I promise. Just a few more weeks to go. Big hurdles, yes. And then they will be over. So many different traditions with so many different holidays stuffed into these last two months. And an ongoing global pandemic throughout it all. Whether or not you acknowledge any…
Grief Impacts Appetite
There is no “normal” appetite in grief. Some people eat under stress; some people lose all interest in food. When you stop eating because food is nauseating, or eat constantly because you need something to do, your body has to work harder to stay level and grounded. That said, I know there’s not always a…