How are you holding up this holiday season?

Holiday season check-in! How are you holding up?

By “holding up,” I don’t mean appearing okay to those around you. I don’t mean soldiering through as though everything were normal (not that anything is normal right now). I never do enjoy pretending.

By “holding up,” I guess I mean – how’s your heart? How do you get yourself through the day?

In grief, we somehow survive each day as it comes, some days slightly lighter, some days monumentally heavier. Every day is a marathon, with bedtime often being the only thing to look forward to. When getting through the everyday is challenging, the addition of the holiday season just tips things over into nearly unbearable.

How are you surviving? Have you found ways to help yourself through?

Honestly, as I remember my first year, it was mostly a keep your head down, plow through, ignore as much as you can method of survival. I slept a lot. I disappeared into the snowy woods with the dog a lot.

I hid out as much as I could, enjoying my own company – my own deep sadness – more than any interaction with others. If the choices were to be alone and sad, or uncomfortable around other people, I always chose alone and sad. At least it was real.

Please remember that whatever you choose to do in this holiday season, staying true to yourself is important. To the best of your ability (and while following safe health practices), seek out those places that companion your sadness, and avoid those places that ask you to pretend you are something other than you are. Life is too short for that.

How about you? Have you found places (or practices) that companion your sadness? What tactics are you using to people who won’t make room for your truth? Let us know in the comments. Not only do I like to hear from you, but others in the community can use your ideas!

flame-heart-100Wishing for some company inside your grief? The very best place I know to connect YOU with other grieving folks is inside the Writing Your Grief community. When you feel invisible inside your grief, these folks see you. When your friends have their own sh*t to deal with and you can’t lean on them, your WYG family is there. Registration for the January session is open now. Follow this link to join us. We’ve got room for you. Come see…