Shortened attention spans are very common in early grief. Remember, define early for yourself. Grief rearranges your mind. It takes away skill sets you’ve had since childhood. It makes even the simplest things hard to follow. It makes once-familiar things feel arbitrary or confusing. It might feel like you’re broken (you are not broken), but…
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Do you accidentally grief-shame? Here’s how to help better.
Think about the things that we say to somebody when we hear that they’re having a hard time. We tell them to be strong. We tell them, “lean on your happy memories.” We tell them, “they wouldn’t want you to be sad.” All of those things carry a connotation of stop feeling the way that…
Grief, Wildfires, and the Power of Acknowledgement
West Coast folks – whew. Everything is a LOT right now. When you’ve already lived through things people say are “unlikely to happen,” it’s *really* hard to remain calm when things go sideways in the world around you. From fires to the pandemic to the – everything, finding even the tiniest corner of calm and…
How do you help a grieving friend?
When we talk about the skills needed to support a grieving friend, we’re not just talking about grief related to death. These are the kinds of skills we need for all of life’s hardships, from small everyday losses to life altering ones. It’s so tempting to tell someone to look on the bright side, or…
Grief Impacts Short-term Memory
Grief impacts short-term memory. This is another super common, yet seldom discussed physical side effect of grief. There’s a clumsy forgetfulness, or absentmindedness, that often comes with grief. No matter how your short-term memory worked before your loss, it has likely changed in your grief. Forgetting names, misplacing things, missing appointments, not being able to…
Why Good Intentions Still Aren’t Good Enough
This article is stellar. When I talk about the unhelpful help and advice people give grieving folks, I get hate mail. Most of the negative reviews of my book center on my seeming inability to understand that people have good intentions. It’s as though TRYING to be helpful and kind is the only thing that…
Grief Impacts Reading Comprehension
Grief impacts reading comprehension. It’s super common, yet it’s one of those weird effects we don’t usually talk about. I hear the same thing from just about everyone in grief’s early days (remember, define early for yourself): grief obliterates their ability to read, comprehend, and sustain attention. No matter how much of a book person…
U.S. Sees Deadly Drug Overdose Spike During Pandemic
Back in March, someone asked me why I was stressed about the pandemic if “not many people had died yet.” Those of us who work in grief & trauma saw what was ahead – the ripple effects of loss, isolation, and uncertainty reach far into the future. Here, via NPR, is part of the long…