thoughts on grief at the close of the year

The last full week of the year is here. For some, this is horrible news. For others, they just can’t wait for it to end. What a torment the holiday season can be, even without grief.

I’ve never been a big fan of enforced holidays. Anything with mandatory giving – mandatory anything – annoys me. I’m cool with Solstice, it being linked to a tangible, astronomical occurrence. The other stuff, not so much.

So far this season, I’ve been more removed from the holidays than usual, and also more engaged. I’ve been to dinners and gatherings, events and rituals. I’ve wandered around like a tourist, which, in a sense, I am.

In a sense, we all are – wandering around like tourists in this life now, looking at all the “normal” people, going about their “normal” lives.

What was important or meaningful for you Before may not even be possible now. You’re on the outside looking in, wondering if this time of year will ever bring anything but pain.

Here’s what I know: pain will be there until it loosens. This will happen on its own. There is nothing you can do to make that happen. Little by little, of its own accord, pain and love will find new pathways.

You’ll find new ways to mark this time of year, or you’ll find new ways to avoid marking it at all.

With all the hustle and chaos of this time of year, it’s even more important to do whatever feels right to you. Whatever small light or comfort you can find, that is the thing to follow, even if it is not yet a thing to celebrate.

Hold on to love. Hold on to the light of your love. Even in the darkest night, it can still be found.

Wishing you a beautiful week, however you choose to celebrate (or not).

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How about you? Does the close of this year bring relief, or deepen your sadness? Let us know in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.