Should I keep this? How everyday objects become precious and the pressure to “move on”

Do you still have items that belonged to your person? Between the “life changing magic of tidying up” and the cultural imperative to move on with your life, holding onto things can seem like a bad idea.

It’s not though.

It’s perfectly normal to keep things that belonged to your person.

“There is a cultural idea that any kind of pain, but especially grief, is something you’re supposed to master quickly,” [Devine] said. “And the implication of that cheerleading — Be strong! Push through this! Put the past behind you! — is that if you still miss your person after six weeks, there’s something wrong with you. We don’t talk about grief and pain and sadness as normal, healthy things, so we don’t know how to respond. And when we tell someone, ‘Don’t you think it’s time you’ve moved on?,’ that’s a shaming response based on our own discomfort.”

Read more in this essay from Ken Budd in the Washington Post.


Photo by Jia Ye on Unsplash
Sometimes you need evidence that your person lived, evidence that this happened, especially in a culture that wants to erase the person, particularly after a sudden or traumatic death. Click To Tweet

How about you? What have you kept that belonged to your person? Have you experienced outside pressure or pressured yourself to demonstrate that you’ve “move on” by getting rid of things that belonged to your person?

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