Hello, love. I’m sorry you have need of this place, and I’m so glad you’re here. Grief is such a disorienting time. So much no longer makes sense, and even simple things can feel complicated.
This overview page will direct you to some of the core posts and resources on this site. A little bit of a roadmap, to make things even just the tiniest bit easier. We’re working on a library of podcast episodes, media clips, and recorded talks, too. For now, here are some good places to start.
Rules at impact: how to survive early grief.
Early grief is unlike anything else. Ordinary rules do not apply. Typical, everyday support and encouragement won’t help here. For some ideas about how you might care for yourself inside this wholly disorienting time, read this post on Rules at Impact. There’s also an infographic covering the main points of this post. You can download the infographic at the bottom of that page.
People keep trying to help, but it’s not helping.
Yeah. Even those with the best of intentions often come up short in the face of grief. And you probably don’t have it in you to educate them. There’s a whole page just like this one, written for support people. You can direct them there, and you can send them this PDF: how to help a grieving friend.
Feeling lonely and isolated?
Grief is incredibly lonely. Even those who love you can’t really understand what this is like for you. That’s why I created the Writing Your Grief course and community. It’s not like most other places. No matter what loss you’re carrying, we’ve always got room for you. Come see.
An encyclopedia of grief.
The blog archives cover a lot of territory. From my own personal grief stories, to discussions of what’s “normal,” to special holiday articles, to tips for helpers, there’s pretty much something for every grief occasion. Start exploring the blog here, and use the search feature at the top of the page to poke around in the archives (or start with this one). You can also search my library of articles on Huffington Post at this link. I suggest starting with this one.
Ask, Don’t Tell
One of the most popular blog posts in all of Refuge in Grief’s history. You can find that here.
A better grief book: no platitudes, no easy answers
When I was first widowed, finding books on grief that actually helped was difficult. Most weren’t written for those early days of grief, or they spoke about grief as a great gift that I could use to transform my life. That’s. Not. Helpful. It’s OK that You’re Not OK is the book I needed all those years ago. I hope it helps you too. You can read all about it here.
The guided journal for grief: tools to help you survive
Being allowed to tell the truth about your grief is an incredibly powerful act. How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed lets you to tell your whole story, without the need to tack on a happy ending where there isn’t one. The journal helps you map out what helps – and what doesn’t – without anyone expecting you to “move on.” Learn about the guided grief journal here.
Another voice in a house that’s too quiet
This is the audiobook that started everything – I launched Refuge in Grief with just this one resource. One part grief experiment, one part practical guidebook, this audiobook is designed to help you find ways to bear the life you’re in – even when that life holds unbearable pain. If reading feels impossible, start with this resource. Click here to start listening.