Some behind the scenes news: I’ve just started hitting media pitches hard in the last couple of weeks. Everyone wants to talk about grief and I really need them to talk about it in ways that normalize grief, rather than demonize it. It feels massively important. Being allowed to tell the truth is crucial. Allowing…
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How to help a grieving friend
There’s a catch-22 in grief support: because we don’t talk about the realities of grief in our culture, no one really knows how to help. This is true for friends and family members and for the pros. The people who can best tell us how to help — grieving people themselves — don’t have the energy, interest, or…
How do you ask for help from people who say, “Call me if you need anything”? (Assuming you even have the energy to ask)
How many times have you heard some variation of “I’m here if you need anything” or “call me if you need anything,”? These vague, open-ended offers of help are usually followed by radio silence – which happens for any number of reasons – leaving the grieving person unsupported. The problem here is, identifying your needs…
Why Good Intentions Still Aren’t Good Enough
This article is stellar. When I talk about the unhelpful advice people give grieving folks, I get hate mail. Most of the negative reviews of my book center on my seeming inability to understand that people have good intentions. It’s as though TRYING to be helpful and kind is the only thing that matters, and…
suicide
Suicide rates are on the rise. When someone dies by suicide, we’re left with intense questions: could someone have known? Should someone have known? Why didn’t they get help? When a public figure or celebrity dies by suicide, we start to worry about the people we know: If there were no indications that things had…
companionship through the holidays
Over the next few weeks, I want to explore the holidays – what it’s like for grieving people, how friends or family might help, and what to do to help yourself survive this season with at least a little peace. Now that we’ve come through Thanksgiving in both the US and Canada, the speed begins…
Life gone sideways?
Hi there. Welcome. I’m sorry you have need of this place, and I’m so glad you’re here. Grief is such a disorienting time. So much no longer makes sense, and even simple things can feel complicated. Early grief is a time unlike any other. Everything we offer is designed to help you survive what has…
what’s happening in the US is deeply related to grief
There’s a lot going on with weather-related and climate-related challenges and fears right now, just barely in front of news stories of violence and hate. It can be easy to get carried away with each new, fresh challenge. All of these things are deeply related to grief. The relentless series of political, cultural, and weather-related…