What’s ONE thing you miss about who you used to be?

What’s ONE thing you miss about who you used to be?


This is different from what you miss about your person. In a lot of ways, the person you were dies too – when you lose someone close, or you get a life-changing diagnosis, etc. I miss believing that things would work out – as a general, blanket belief for my own life.

Here are some responses from our IG community:

“Fearless. Not completely, but I wasn’t THIS anxious ALL of the time.”


“I miss feeling like a helpful friend. I don’t have the capacity anymore to help friends with their problems.”


“I kind of miss how I took everything for granted. Not in a bad way, but I miss that naivety.”


“I miss thinking that if you took good care of your health & fitness, you’d live a long life.”


“I miss my happiness, or comfort, or optimism. I’m not sure if those words really capture the right ‘feeling’ that I miss. It’s really the easiness I used to feel. Kinda like when you have to take a test and the only question is how to spell your name. Easy right? That’s how I used to feel. Now I feel like everything I do is a quantum physics final exam and everything is riding on the result.”


“I miss smiling with ease. Now I have to force myself to smile and I feel like I look ridiculous because it doesn’t at all match how I feel inside.”


“Being more of a social butterfly and having [my person] as an anchor or direction home where I could turn towards if I flew too astray.”


“I miss being purely excited for my friends. No all their big announcements are tinged with sadness because I know I won’t be getting those big life milestones, wedding, family, anniversaries, etc.”


“I used to be funny and creative / uninhibited. After two traumatic losses, I find it hard to connect with either of those parts of myself. Grief can be so paralyzing.”


“Not have to be so strong all the time. Having the energy for anything other than pushing through fear and uncertainty.”


“I think what I miss the most is really laughing. I laugh all the time but I used to laugh until I had tears running down my face. Deep whole body laughing. Getting the giggles and not being able to stop and trying to catch my breath. I miss that.”


“My creativity. I cannot focus on anything. My motivation is down and my perfectionism is up. It’s so hard to do even the simplest project anymore.”


“I used to love having a fire in the fireplace. Now it triggers my PTSD. (My brother was burned in a house fire and died 7 months later due to complications.”


“Lightness. I feel like my whole body is holding sooooo much tension. From my jaw to my stomach. Ten months on and the heaviness…”


So what about you? What’s ONE thing you miss about your old self? Let us know in the comments.⁣⁣ And share your experience with our IG community too! The more we talk about what grief is really like, the more people realize they aren’t alone.

flame-heart-100Wishing for some company inside your grief? If you’re carrying grief (no matter how recent or how old), check out our most popular, hugely amazing Writing Your Grief course. It’s not like most places on the internet. Inside the course, you can tell the whole truth about your grief – and you won’t hear a single platitude. No advice, no cheerleading, just acknowledgment and support. The next session stars on March 15th. We have room for you. All the information about it is right here.