Judgment happens. It's OK.

Even with good intentions, you can accidentally “grief shame” someone. 

Grief shaming happens when we make judgments or decisions about someone's public face of mourning. It happens when we judge whether we think the way someone is grieving is acceptable or not. Unconscious bias is everywhere, and we don’t always realize that what we’re doing isn’t helpful. You can have the best intentions, but if you're coming from a place of shame or judgment, your good intentions don't matter - and you won’t deliver the love and support you intend. 

Learn more about how to help friends - and yourself! - when you’re going through difficult times. Get the book that changed the ways we think about grief. And for more complex, nuanced conversations about all kinds of grief, listen to It’s OK that You’re Not OK: the podcast.  

If you’re grieving and you want a judgment free place to explore your losses, we strongly recommend the Writing Your Grief self-guided course. More than 10,000 people have used the prompts to tell the truth about their grief. Come see. 

This video is a clip from the documentary SPEAKING GRIEF, now available to watch at speakinggrief.org. Talking about grief is important, but it isn't always easy. Get those conversations started by sharing this video with your friends and family (and your therapist!).